


I thought you were dead

by SofieandMuta02



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Drug Abuse, F/M, Harry Hart Lives, International Kingsman, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, next generation Kingsman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-05-01 00:09:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5184860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SofieandMuta02/pseuds/SofieandMuta02
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Valentines dead and Eggsy has to cope with Harrys Death. Of course he isn't aware that his love lives. He tries his best to get over his grieve, has his first mission and Roxy is sent on a honeypot.. But things change quickly and the peacefull and happy future is destoryed by things Eggsy cant control..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First things first

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Hartwin so please write me what you think about it.  
> And thanks so much to [Charlottefrey](http://archiveofourown.org/users/charlottefrey/pseuds/charlottefrey)  
> for helping me so much with beta reading!  
> Enjoy!

After he had saved the world he left his feelings in front of the cell door of Princess Tilde. She was a very fine woman and also royalty. Eggsy never had thought he could have a princess and she even let him have her behind. She was desperate to come out of her cell but also had taken a liking to the young Kingsman.

While Eggsy had his fun Merlin called the US Kingsman HQ.

 

_“American Express Customer Complaint Service. Hello how can I help you?”_

As a tailor is fitting for London a business like American Express was a good cover for the Kingsman.

“Well my name is J. Hancock and I have a complaint about my golden 1919 Credit card, ma’am.” Merlin answered.

 _“Please hold the line while I’ll redirect your call. Thank you for calling.”_ He heard a clicking noise and a few seconds later the receiver was picked up.

 _“Hello?”_ The woman that had taken Merlin’s call was the head of the US Kingsman branch.

The US Kingsmen were named after the men that signed the declaration of independence. First one to sign the document had been John Hancock president of the congress. And of course there were 56 men that had signed, meaning the US Kingsman could pick from a lot of names and take on a lot of agents.

“Hancock, It’s Merlin.” He answered.

_“Merlin! How is it at your end?”_

“Valentine is dead. And half of my agents I fear. As Arthur is.” She took a sharp breath in.

“He was in on Valentines scheme. All this is crazy.”

 _“I presume that’s the reason no one could reach you. It doesn’t look good at our side either. Is it hundred percent sure we are save?”_ She sounded shocked, tired but still firm.

           “Listen Hancock. Galahad, well the new Galahad, killed Valentine. I can confirm this.” He heard her exhale loudly.

_“That’s good.”_

“I have the abducted celebrities here, Valentine had them locked up. I don’t have the capacity to get them out from here.“ Merlin sighed. There wasn’t much left of Kingsman UK.

 

_“Yes well of course. I’m going to send some Kingsmen.”_

“Don’t forget to send Daniel and his team from Tech department. Valentine has a lot of weapons stored here and someone has to dismantle the satellite computer.”

 _“What are we talking about?”_ Hancock inquired.

“Rocketlaunchers. A lot of machine guns and about 200 people.”

           _“We’ll manage that, just don’t worry.”_ Hancock sounded busy as if she was already dispatching her Kingsmen what she probably did.

“We’ll see each other at the meeting of the Kingsman Heads. I fear I’ll have to take Arthurs place. As he and the former Galahad are both dead.” The last part of the sentence was hard for him to say and he put his head in his hands.

 _“About that.”_ The woman cut into Merlin’s good byes. _“Harry was picked up from the South Glade Mission Church. He was brought to HQ but is now in a secret base in Canada. Can’t say a lot about his condition.”_ Merlin’s head snapped up. “ _Last time I checked he was in coma and was operated on. You’ll have to come yourself to get more information_.” Merlin couldn’t believe it and stammered:

“Yes – yes. I’ll – I’ll come as fast as I get everything sorted out in London, okay?”

“ _Merlin_ ” there was a lot of feelings in the woman’s voice now. “ _I’m really sorry I wish I could tell you something positive. They don’t know if he will live_.”

“Yeah, thanks Hancock.” With this he touched the side of his glasses and turned his seat away from the screens. Harry wasn’t dead. Well not exactly. But also not alive. Canada. Some of the top secret research was done there. Merlin knew that their genetic laboratories were there too. They did a lot of crazy stuff maybe they even could bring Harry back. He decided to see Harry as quickly as he could. Just then Eggsy arrived at the plane the princess at his heels all smiles and happiness.

“Yo Merlin time t’ go home. Roxy is waiting and I have t’ see after me mum.” Merlin pushed up his glasses and turned to them.

“Hello.” Merlin smiled politely at the woman, but without friendliness. “Please excuse us Princess Tilde. Our agency is informed and will be here in a short time to get you and the others. You will have to go with them as we have some unfinished business to deal with.” The Princess looked confused but nodded.

“I’ll unlock the doors of the other cells, if you could be so nice please get the others together and inform them on what has occurred.“ The Princess straightened her clothes and held her head high.

“Yes thank you very much. And you” she looked at Eggsy “I’ll hope to see you again” she winked at him and turned around. Merlin turned to the screens and started typing to open the celldoors.

“Good bye princess and good luck.” He called after the princess. But then he turned towards his handler. “Why did you send her off?” Eggsy scowled. Merlin just shook his head.

“Let’s get Roxy.” With this he started the plane. Eggsy fetched whiskey from the jets bar and three glasses. He poured the brown golden liquid into them and drowned one of them immediately. They landed and Merlin opened the door for Roxy.

She flew into Merlin’s arms totally overjoyed. Merlin was surprised but put his arms around the slim middle of the young woman and even twirled while her feet were in the air. She leaned away a bit and suddenly really shy said

“You were both so cool. And Eggsy I already called your mother” Merlin let her go and she turned to the young Kingsman that looked at her excited like a little puppy. It seemed that she wanted to hug him too but he took hold of her hands.

She continued talking. “They are alright. I mean your mum is really shocked she wanted to attack Daisy but thankfully you stopped the signal before she could do anything bad. But she needs a new bathroom door.” Eggsy squeezed her hands firmly now.

“A new bathroom door? Wot the heck happened there?” Merlin shifted from one foot to the other eager to leave.

“Well she was out of her mind like everyone else so she hacked the door apart. But they are fine so please don’t break my arms” she squirmed now under the pressure applied onto her hands.

“I’m sorry. Thanks.” He released her when he realized what he was doing. She rubbed her hands and then smiled broadly and finally Eggsy hugged her too. Merlin took the whiskey and held out two glasses to them. He had to clear his throat to get their attention.

“To you two. You saved the world.” They took the glasses and then Roxy fell into his little speech

“And you too Merlin. Couldn’t have done it without you.” Eggsy looked sad on the ground. He also couldn’t have done it without Harry. He had blocked out Harrys death and now everything came back.

“To ‘arry.” He said with a dry throat. Merlin first had a little smile on his face but it faded into nothingness

“And to Harry.” It seemed that he wanted to say more but didn’t. They clicked their glasses together and drank in silence. After a while Merlin put down his glass

“I’m going to start the jet. We really have to get going.” Roxy let herself fall into one of the seats and threw of her boots. Eggsy poured himself some more whiskey and fetched his phone. He had things to deal with before they got back.

Merlin came back

“Autopilot is on, we should be in HQ in three hours.” He sat down at the monitors flipped them open and started to type. Roxy got up.

“I have to change this suit is killing me”.

“Merlin” Eggsy leaned to him. Merlin just raised an eyebrow and glanced over to Eggsy.

“I need a fla’. Or a house for me mum. She can’t live in the flat wit’ Dean anymor’.

Can’t have tha’.” He had anger and worry written all over his face

           “Sure. Kingsman will make sure your family will be safe. We’ll look for a place when the important stuff is done with.” He looked back to the screens.

“No Merlin. You don’ understand. I wan’ ‘er ou’ o’ the place today. Don’ know wha’ will come into Dean’s hea’. He coul’ kill ‘er o’ somethin’.” He said urgently.

           “Well...” Merlin pushed his glasses up his nose and paid him full attention now. “We have a flat. It was a safe house but we don’t use it anymore…it’s not up to date with surveillance and infrared cameras. You could bring her there. I’ll just buy a new flat and make it a safe house.”

He turned back to the screens and opened a video feed. “Here. I have the live feed from the flat.” Eggsy got up. “It’s small. Only a Kitchen, Bathroom living room and two bedrooms.”He had a quick glance at the rooms.

“That’s alrigh’. It looks nice. And a lo’ o’ space. She’ll like it there.” Eggsy nodded more to himself then to Merlin.

“They’ll have to share the room or will you be sleeping in the same room as your sister as the big brother you are?” Merlin tried to bring a bit fun into this game. Eggsy went back to his seat took his glass and said

“I won’ be livin’ wit’ ‘em.” Merlin, now very surprised, looked at him.

“Okay.” The question he wanted to say hung in the air. But Eggsy didn’t explain himself. Merlin don’t wanted to push him so he said “When we arrive at HQ I’ll give you the keys. And your mother can redesign everything how she likes it. There is only the question about the security set. Do you want the cameras and alarm to be removed?” Eggsy looked satisfied

“No leave everythin’ where it is. I mean don’ watch ‘em or anythin’. But they ‘ave t’ be save.” Roxy came back from changing.

“So what are we doing now?” she broke the spell and Merlin turned back to the screens and said:

“We have to organize a meeting of the Kingsman and confirm who is left of us.” He showed her the data of the lost connections to the other Kingsman. Suddenly Eggsy got up and left the room. Roxy looked worried at Merlin but said nothing.

Eggsy went to the bathroom and leaned on the sink. He looked at the face in the mirror. He had some really bad bruises and his lip was cracked. Cold water was now running over his hands and he splashed the water onto his face. Harry would have been proud of how he dealt with valentine. Harry who would never talk to him again. He had to deal with other stuff now. Mum and Daisy were the priority now.

“Ge’ yer shit together Unwin.” He said to the mirror. He washed away the rest of the blood and went back to have another drink and sleep. He was exhausted, sad and devastated but first things first.


	2. And then darkness came

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy has to deal with Dean..and some other things

They arrived and left the plane. Roxy thought Eggsy was behaving strange but he just had saved the world and killed Valentine so she let him be. Upon entering the tech department Merlin rummaged through some closets that were full of tech equipment. Roxy sat down in front of the screens and again checked the status of the other agents.

Only Cei, Iwein and Gawain were online. That did not mean that the other three were dead but it was likely that they were. They had to check on them. Eggsy leaned on the table and watched Merlin. Finally he put a huge box with keys in it on the desk. He found the right one and gave it to Eggsy.

“This is just one copy. I’ll let more be made if needed. But that should do for now”

He gave him the key. Roxy turned a bit in the seat and looked at them quizzically as she had no idea what this was about.

“Alrigh’. I’m goin’ t’ get me mum there. And then I’ll need some holidays.” Merlin now looked a bit worried.

“Eggsy we need you to deal with all this.” He made a vague gesture, pointing to everything and nothing in particular.

”Yeah I’m no’ ou’ o’ the worl’. I jus’ need some time t’ think abou’ all this.“ About Harry. He didn’t say that but Merlin and Roxy knew what he meant.

“Then all right. We’ll stay in touch. Your glasses are alright?“ Eggsy nodded and Roxy got up and walked towards him.

“See ye in a bi’ gov’ner” He pulled Roxy into a quick and firm embrace that made her worry a lot. He waved and left the room. He looked back into the room. Merlin was sitting in front of the screens and typed while Roxy sat on the table watching him.

“Can I have a car?” Merlin looked up bewildered “Now you start asking?” He shook his head but smiled.

“Take one of the cabs.” Roxy told him good bye again as Eggsy left.

 

 

Eggsy couldn’t find his mother at home. He drove to the pub. She was sitting opposite Dean. Right where he had been sitting with Harry. She listened to some tune

”Michelle, turn tha’ shit off, it’s turnin’ me nutsy.” Dean said.

“I rather like tha’ song. Leave it on, mom.” Eggsy was standing in the middle of the pub. Suit, glasses and umbrella everything ready and fine.

“Mugsy's back. Ye finally come t’ ‘ave tha’ wor’ wit’ me, have ye son?” Dean smirked at Eggsy “Or are ye goin’ t’ run away again and preten’ you're getting’ another coat dress like tha’? Ye mean ‘is?” He looked angry and his hand pointed in Eggsy’s direction

“No. I know this bloke who's jus’ taken over a tailor shop up on Seville Road. He's go’ me a job, mom.” He talked to her and ignored Dean totally. “Comes with a lo’ o’ perks. Including a home. Come and live there, mum. Come on.” His mother was first surprised but then she looked happily at him and got up

“Sit down, ye.” Dean was on his feet now “Only place she'll be visitin’ is ye in fuckin’ hospital, d'you hear?” Dean stepped in front Michelle who became frantic

“Jus’ leave him alone. Eggsy, go, please. Jus’ go away.” Dean’s goons now were standing up and Dean pushed Michelle back into the direction of the seat.

“Alrigh’.” Eggsy answered and turned to leave.

“Yes, jus’ do as mommy says. Find yerself a tailor and think tha’ chicken costume's gonna suit ye, ye mug.” He snickered and his goons followed. Dean was standing now in the middle of the room with his bullies on either side of him. Eggsy was at the door.

“As a good friend once said: ” He closed the first lock on the door.

“Manners...” clack, “maketh...” _Clack._ The second lock was closed.

“man.” _Clack_. With that the third lock slid into place.

“Dean?” it was Poodle who knew where this was going.

“Shut the fuck up.” Was the only thing Dean said. Eggsy looked into the mirror with the Guinness design printed on it. He prepared his umbrella

“Eggsy, I'm gonna shove yer manners up yer fuckin’...” but Dean couldn’t end his sentence because the beer glass hit him right in the middle of his face and he fell over. Eggsy then turned around and looked at Deans goons

“Are we goin’ to stand here all day…or are we goin’ to fight?” But they were scared and Rottweiler, whose car Eggsy had ‘borrowed’, backed away and they all ran to the backdoor stumbling over each other.

“Come mum. We’ll pack yer stuff and ye can move in wit’ Daisy righ’ now. It might be a bi’ dusty bu’ there is everythin’ you need.”

 

 

They packed clothes and some other things but left the rest in there.

“Don’t worry mum. Ye can buy everythin’ ye need. I’ll get enough money at my new job.” Eggsy said. Still the cab was ridiculously packed. They picked up Daisy from the day care and Eggsy helped his mother to bring the stuff inside the new flat. She was overwhelmed. The flat was really nice. It was good for her. As most of her things were stored Eggsy pulled out some cash and left it for his mum to buy some food.

“I’ll have ‘em send ye more tomorrow but for today this must do.”

“Oh Eggsy silly boy. Ye think I go’ no cash?” She smiled a warm smile and showed him a little purse he never had seen before. It was full of money.

“Wha’? Where did ye ge’ tha’?” he asked.

“Been hidin’ it. For ye and Daisy.”

“Ye won’ have t’ worry now mum.” She embraced him and when she released him she had tears of joy in her eyes.

“Thank ye Eggsy. Ye are the best.” She looked at him with motherly love.

“Sure mum.” She kissed him on the cheek. “But now I’ll have t’ go. Stuff t’ do ye know, new job.”

She looked a bit sad but fondly laid her hand on his cheek. She caressed it and with another kiss on the other cheek she demanded

“But come and visit us more of’en!” He smiled.

“Sure I’ll do tha’” he gave her the key and with a quick good bye kiss on Daisies forehead he left. They were in safety finally. He got back to the cab. He knew what he needed now. He drove into the right direction searching.

“Ah yeah.” He parked the cab and entered the little shop. It was a liquor store.

The shop assistant appeared. Eggsy had to fight not to laugh out loud. What a cliché he would buy his drink from a Pakistani in a dingy liquor store like it was in these low budget American movies.

„Hello, is there anything I could help you with? A nice wine for dinner, maybe?”

“Let me see” Eggsy picked some of the finer whiskeys the shop had to offer. Harry had taught him about whiskeys in the twenty four hours they had together before he had died. He looked over the shelves. Vodka with gold flakes in it. That was nice; yeah he wanted to try that. Never before had he been able to buy what he wanted.

“And how many bottles of this one do you have?” He pointed at the bottle with the little golden flakes in it. The assistant hurried to his side took the bottle and quickly scanned it at the register.

“Twelve, sir” he answered with his funny accent.

“I’ll be taking ten.” The assistant nodded and while getting a box and putting the bottles in it he asked:

“You’re having a party, eh?”

“Something like tha’.” Every other person would have dropped the subject but not this shop assistant.

“What not a party?”

“A funeral.” Eggsy cut him off. As he finished scanning Eggsy added: “Add a pack of red Marlboros, or maybe make two out of it”. The man obeyed and Eggsy paid with the cash he had wanted to give to his mum. He didn’t want to use the Kingsman credit card. Merlin didn’t have to know anything about this. He got into the cab with his purchases and finally arrived at his destination.

Harrys house.

He opened the door. His friend Jamal always said “Nothing is really closed”. As he had no key he had to help himself. Inside he let the blinds down turned on the TV changed into some of his old clothes and opened the first bottle of whiskey. While drinking he looked around the living room. Harry was dead. Valentine had shot him right into his face. That wonderful face. He hadn’t realized he had fallen for Harry that much until he was shot.

But now he was gone, gone forever. Like the content from the first bottle and he fetched the next. He wandered through the house. He stopped at the little bathroom with Mr. Pickles. He remembered the talk he had with Harry right here. How he had accused him of having his dad stuffed here somewhere. A little smile came to Eggsy’s face. And the first tear ran down his face. He slumped down to the floor and started to weep.

 

It was the fourth day after the valentine incident. And Eggsy had littered the living room in empty bottles and pizza boxes. It was one o’clock in the afternoon and he woke up on the couch with a really monstrous hang over. He sat up and took a sip right out of the open bottle on the coffee table.

But the alcohol didn’t have the effect he wanted. It had stopped numbing his pain. After a few more sips and a piece of cold pizza he had a plan. He fetched his hoodie and pocketed some of the money. He found the spare keys to the house on a fine little hook next to the door. Outside the car was missing.

“Shit.” He searched his pockets for his phone. There it was. He looked through the messages. Some of his pals from the block and a few from an unknown number. He searched these messages. Most were from Roxy asking what he was doing and so. One was from Merlin.

“Need the car back. Someone will come and get it this afternoon.” The message was dated for yesterday.

“Yeah. Alright.” Eggsy said to no one. He started to walk to find the next cab. While walking he lit a cigarette, he had only two left. He had to get some more on the way. Finally he found a cab he wanted to get in but the driver blocked the door. He opened the window only a bit and said:

“Ge’ off. Won’ take a mugger like ye in me taxi.” He closed the window and before Eggsy could protest he saw himself in the cars window. He looked like a mugger. Even worse than before joining Kingsman. He had felt so good in the time since Harry came for him to the police station. He had gotten used to looking serious and posh in the clothes Kingsman had given him. Something inside him said to turn around and go to sleep. But he saw the next tube station and decided to go there.

He arrived at a Taiwanese restaurant. He entered and went straight to the back and through the kitchen. Two guards were standing at a glass door. Through it one could see a winter garden full of green plants with a patio in it and behind that the entrance to a smaller building. On the patio in a luxury seat was a black haired woman.

Eggsy always had thought she looked like that Egyptian queen Cleopatra. Long black hair, her fringe cut in a straight line, light olive skin, full red painted lips and skin tight faux- leather leggings. Her big boobs were squeezed into a small black top and adorned with a pompous statement necklace that looked a bit Egyptian. Eggsy’s view lingered on her as he wanted to open the door. One of the guards grabbed him at his shoulder.

“Where you think you’re going” Eggsy wouldn’t let them frighten him. He had nothing to lose now.

“I have to see her.”

“We don’t let…” Eggsy fell the bloke on the left right into his so well trained phrase.

“Tell her Eggsy is here. And I have money.” He showed him two crisp one hundred pound notes. The big bully eyed him suspiciously but took his walkie talkie.

“Ma’am sorry to interrupt you. Eggsy is here to see you.”

 _“Money?”_ The woman asked.

“He got at least 200 on him.”

 _“Fine send him in.”_ He was searched for weapons and they found nothing. But Eggsy was deadly without any weapon and right now he really didn’t care. They opened the door and shoved Eggsy through.

“I know the way.” Eggsy slapped the hand of the big bully from his shoulder and went to the woman.

“Cas” he greeted her.

“Mister Unwin. Nice to see you again, I suppose. To what do I owe the pleasure?” Eggsy said nothing. She put a strand of the long black hair behind her ear and put her feet up on the table in front of her

“Can’t be Dean sending you. I heard he got knocked out by a beer glass you have thrown at him?” Eggsy nodded slowly.

“Cut it out Cas. I’m here for business not to talk about gossip.” She unnerved him. He sat down and lit his last cigarette.

“Okay. No more chit chat.” She put her feet on the ground and leaned to him. “So. What do you want?”

“Powder.” She raised her eyebrows and clapped her hands. Another of her big bullies appeared.

“Darling please bring me a small package of powder for Eggsy here.” He started to go but Eggsy said:

“No. Not the usual stuff. I want the good one. I have enough money” he pulled out the money from his pocket. She sat up straight and held out her hand to him.

“Show me” He gave her three hundred. She checked the money with one of those small light pens. She nodded and got up. “One moment.” she disappeared into the building.

She came back with a small silvery box and her bully carrying a small scale. With a big smile she sat down again.

“This is my own. But for this…” she rubbed her fingers together and showed the sign of money “you get the best.” The bully prepared the scale and a small spoon. She opened the box and started to weigh the white powder. When she was satisfied she smiled like a little child and put it in a small round glass container. Before she gave it to Eggsy she said:

“This is pure. You could kill yourself with this. This is nothing like the stuff Dean got here.” Eggsy gave her the ‘so what’ look

“You seem to be a boy with brains Unwin. I warned you.” Now she really pushed her luck. Eggsy’s nerves were on edge he was ready to jump and could kill her easily. And the hangover got worse. He wanted home. To Harry’s house. Why couldn’t she just give it to him?

“You know. In Greek mythology there was a woman. She had the gift of prophecy. But no one ever believed her. They called her liar and all. Her name was Cassandra. Just like mine. Sometimes I think I have the same curse.” She holds the little bottle to Eggsy who snapped it right out of her hand and started to walk away

“See ya, Cas.” He didn’t even look back. His way back was in a blur.

Upon arriving he hastily opened the door. He fetched a bottle and went upstairs. He entered a room he had avoided until now. Harry’s bedroom. His bed and his closet with his so perfectly fitting suits. Cautiously he threw back the covers of the bed. And then he smelled it. The smell of heaven, Harrys scent. He let his hoodie fall to the ground and took some of the powder. He wanted to be in heaven with Harry, just for this moment.

He did not have the opportunity to be with Harry when he was alive so he now wanted the drug to fool him into lying in Harry’s arms. He crawled up and lay where Harry had been sleeping. The blanket curled in front of him and the pillow right in his face. The pain ebbed away and he saw him. Harry was holding him in his arms. Harry standing at the police station, his super calm face as he was drinking up his pint after beating up Deans goons….

Eggsy found himself half clothed in the running shower. The powder had numbed the pain. But now it was back. He propped himself up on his arms and sat against the wall. The tears coming from his eyes never to be seen as they mixed with the falling water. On his hands and knees he dragged himself out of the shower. He stripped from the wet clothes and lay naked on the ground. The tears were running and he twitched from the pain. The sobs were hard and he nearly choked on one of them.

But they were hard enough for him to vomit he nearly missed the toilet. He slumped back onto the floor tiles and his body got ice cold as his tears had finally run dry. For the moment, he knew. They would come back. They always came back and every time it seemed worse. He went back to the bedroom. He took a big sip from the bottle and opened the closet. He touched some of the clothes he recognised.

Smelled some and finally dressed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt he never had seen Harry wear that strangely smelt so much like his cologne. He went back to the bed and again took the small bottle of powder with shaking hands. Afterwards he took a sip of the vodka and put it down on the nightstand. Lying in bed and hugging the blanket he stared at the little golden flakes now back on their way down to the bottom of the bottle.

Harry would have killed him for this he was sure. But Harry wasn’t here anymore. He took another sip and forced the golden flakes up the bottle again. The smell from the cologne was intoxicating. He now saw Harrys face flickering before his eyes and drifted off. He woke up his stomach was in pain. Hunger. He stumbled down the stairs and searched the kitchen. He found cereals and some milk.

After satisfying his stomach he looked around. Again he had acted on instinct and not reason. His look fell on Mister Pickles. The dog. He had disgraced Harry because he couldn’t shoot his dog JB. Again tears started falling. Hastily with shaking hands Eggsy searched his pockets for the glass container. He found it and sneezed it up his nose. It hit him instantly. He had overdone it. Blood trickled out of his right nostril. His head hit right into the bowl of cereal standing before him on the table.

He heard someone calling his name but he couldn’t make out who was calling... maybe Harry?


	3. Just so you know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy wakes and has to face Roxy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long. Wanted to post on wednesday but life is stressfull right now and you know what I mean.  
> Again a big THANK YOU too my lovely beta Charlottefrey  
> Hope you had fun with this short chapter!
> 
> If you would like to write me or something --> SofieandMuta Tumblr

He woke up and the light from above blinded him. He wanted to shield his eyes with his hands but he couldn’t move them. What the fuck was happening here? He looked around for the first time. Kingsman infirmary and they had handcuffed him to the bed. He panicked for a short moment trying to free his hands but quickly gave up as his whole body was hurting. The door was opened and a nurse entered.

“Ah Galahad you are awake. I’ll send in the doctor in a minute” She checked the screens and the machines.

“Are you alright?” She looked worried at him. His throat was hurting a lot

“Yeah. No. Don’t know.” He answered with a cough and looked the other way. She left him and a moment later Roxy stormed into the room followed by Merlin who tried to get hold of her arm. But she was faster and reached the bed. Eggsy had put his head up to look at the commotion and Roxy’s flat hand hit him really hard on his left cheek.

“How could you. How do you dare to do this?” She started hitting him all over and shrieked some really hard insults at him. Merlin finally got hold of her and shoved her into the chair next to the bed. He calmed her.

“Please Roxy. Let me to him before you kill him, alright?” She still was mumbling furiously but Merlin paid his attention to Eggsy now.

“Roxy is right Eggsy. We are here for you. We could have helped.” Eggsy huffed

“As if you would understand it”

“Harry was my friend for over 20 years. Yeah I too miss him” He wasn’t lying. He had been to Canada and seen him. He was in a really bad shape. Coma, very low brain activity. He still could die and Merlin tried to prepare himself for the possibility and because of that he couldn’t tell anyone. He couldn’t tell the boy in front of him that Harry lived but could die for real every minute. Eggsy looked away again.

“Roxy couldn’t contact you and you had been gone a day longer then you told me and if she hadn’t been there you would have died from overdosing” Eggsy now looked at Merlin, eyes wide open from shock. “Ah so you don’t wanted to kill yourself.” Merlin commented as if he was talking about the godamn weather.

“As soon as the doctor says it’s alright you will be under my and Roxy’s care. 24 hours without exception. We can’t let you go to rehab because you could tell them sensitive information. There is no protocol for this. But you will have to see Doctor Smith. She is the Kingsman psychiatrist” Eggsy nodded. Merlin suddenly touched the side of his glasses.

“Yes I’m on my way.” He said. “I have to go” he glanced at Roxy. She nodded and he left the room.

“Can you get these things off? I have to scratch my nose.” He tried to move his hands. Roxy stared at him.

“Why?”

“Because it’s itching like hell”

“No. Why did you do this? I don’t get it. I mean he was your mentor but I don’t know. I wouldn’t go drugging myself when Perceval would die. For how long did you knew him. You only met a short time before you came to Kingsman.” Eggsy didn’t answer for a long time, choosing instead to stare at the wall. Then he looked at her.

“I don’t know. Since the day he first came to us, you know after my dad died. He was someone special. I can’t explain really it…it feels like someone had ripped out my heart and left nothing but ice cold emptiness.” Tears started falling from his eyes and he looked away. Roxy had a strange smile on her face, as if her heart was just being ripped out. She released his hands from the handcuffs.

“I suppose you won’t kill yourself now but just for your safety there is nothing here you could drug yourself with.” She sounded like Merlin, empty and sort of matter of fact, and Eggsy thought that this could have been his words. Then she took his hand and he looked at her through watery eyes.

“What you described is called love. Just so you know it.” Shock was written all over his face. And fright. “No need to worry. I won’t tell anyone. I mean Merlin’s not stupid and I bet he figured it out faster than me but well... I’m going to ask the doc if we can leave. This room makes me unwell.”

She winked at him and left. He sat up hurting all over and put his head in his hands

Roxy knew. And what was even worse she thought Merlin had figured it out too. That was bad news. Really bad. The doctor came and checked him. After what felt like an eternity, he was allowed to leave. He wanted to put on the Kingsman overall that was prepared for him but Roxy stopped him.

“Shower first. Pack the stuff and follow” He was annoyed but followed her.

“Tomorrow at 9 you gonna see Doctor Smith”

“Kay.” There was no need to argue with her because he had to do it. It didn’t matter if he liked it or not. They went into one of the rooms that were furnished for the agents to live in while staying at HQ. Roxy opened the door to the bathroom

“Have fun” he went inside and just as he wanted to close the door Roxy stopped it with her Hand

. “Sorry Eggsy. Twenty four hour care means you won’t be alone anymore...”

She was embarrassed and he saw it but she was a Kingsman agent and he was her new mission. He turned with his back to her, stripped and entered the shower. The shower had glass walls. He couldn’t hide his nakedness but on the other hand: Who cared? He had no reason to be embarrassed to be naked in front of Roxy. He started to enjoy the warm water that eased the pain from his sore muscles and showered as normal as ever. He finished and Roxy gave him a towel. She had glanced at his penis but quickly focused on his face and only his face. He had to smile. This seem surreal to him. Roxy turned on the TV they watched a stupid show and he fell asleep on the bed.

In the evening Merlin came and they went to a small flat in a different part of HQ. They ate together and slept in the same room. The meeting with Doctor Smith the next day wasn’t much. She insisted that Eggsy would start to write a diary. He wasn’t ready to talk to anyone and she was clever enough not to force him.

 

The next few weeks were all the same. Roxy and Merlin dragged him around as they were bringing order back to the world. He was allowed to accompany Roxy on some easy assignments and help her find the new Mordred and Bors. He got used to living with Merlin or Roxy or both in Harrys house. Although it was awkward to sleep in Harry’s king-sized bed with Merlin. Eggsy liked sleeping next to Roxy; she cuddled with him and comforted him when needed.

After some weeks Doctor Smith thought it was save for him to sleep alone again, Roxy moved into the guestroom next door. Merlin had brought some of the tech equipment into the guestroom and when Eggsy couldn’t find sleep he saw the light of the screens flickering on the floor of the hallway.

That man wasn’t sleeping at all. Or so it seemed.


	4. First Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy is on his first mission after the valentine incident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear readers,  
> I'm sorry I couldnt post a chapter last week. But my life is crazy right now..(go ahead and read my rambling about my life on tumblr when you like to know whats up)   
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and look forward to the next- I try to give it to my lovely beta as quickly as possible!   
> Thank you all for your support! <3

Eggsy remembered the first time he was allowed to get on a mission again. It was quite an easy scheme. Basil Masters foreign minister of the UK had to be bugged before his meeting with the warlords of South Africa. This was no official meeting and Masters was on top of the list of corrupted people. The plan was for Eggsy to approach Masters on a high society event, put a special video bug on Masters, wait for him to have the meeting and get the bug off him without him noticing it.

Eggsy had wanted to bug the room they were meeting in but as Merlin had pointed out they didn’t knew the exact meeting place and they needed a close up on the faces of the people Masters would talk to.

Eggsy wore the blue pinstriped suit Harry had ordered him. He rarely had worn it for assignments with Roxy as he didn’t want it to get worn out. It was his special suit. But what could go wrong with bugging a minister? It was the gala event of the African Prisons Project which works to restore dignity and hope to prisoners in prisons across Africa.

And it was held at inner Temple in London. It wasn’t long till he found Masters. His black hair was put to the back with a lot of gel and his dinner jacket and trousers fitted perfectly. At his side a beautiful woman with dark brown hair. It was pinned back in the style of the 40’s. Her red dress was simple but was a perfect fit. She was good looking even when she was in the middle of her forties. She had her arm around Masters and was in a deep conversation with some society chick. Merlin went back online.

_“Eggsy I’ll have to check on Roxy she’s in a tight spot right now. I’ll be back in 10.”_ The small clicking noise in Eggsy’s ear told him that Merlin was gone and he was on his own for now. He looked back at the woman in the red dress. Now he could see her face.

And she looked straight at him.

Eggsy jumped a bit at the stern look she gave him. She turned her attention back to the conversation, faked a smile and looked back at him. Then she lightly kissed Masters on his cheek and excused herself. She went into the direction of the toilets. Eggsy looked for Masters who talked to some other celebs now. He would wait till Masters was sitting and would stand back up then he could touch the front of Masters suit while he “accidentally” walked into him. Yeah that was the way he would to it. He smiled, leaned over the pompous railing of the first floor he had chosen to have an eye on Masters.

Suddenly the mysterious woman in the red dress appeared next to him.

“The training of MI6 got really bad. That’s so sad.” Eggsy stared at her.

“Sorry. I didn’t get that.” She smirked

“You have to be MI6. Your suit looks too good to be American.”

Uneasiness spread on Eggsy’s face.

“My name is Margaret Carter. I’m from Mi6 myself. I only once had the pleasure to work with a man with such a fine suit as yours. His name was Merlin and he was in the top secret department.” She smiled.

“Well…” Eggsy was thunder struck. Where was Merlin when one needed him? He could have told her if that woman was safe.

“You don’t have to answer. I now know everything I need. I saw you looking at Basil. What’s your mission? ”

“Well Mrs. Carter”

“Please call me Peggy.”

_“Eggsy! What are you doing with Peggy Carter?”_ Merlin asked angrily.

Eggsy leaned to the side so Peggy wouldn’t hear everything he said

“She found me and I couldn’t do anything” He looked at her and Peggy smiled

“Is Merlin with you?” Eggsy nodded nervously.

_“Eggsy you can trust her. She is MI6 and she can help you”_

“Alright Merlin says to trust you.”

“Oh please tell Merlin that I’d love to have a tea with him some time soon. Now tell me if I can help”

“Okay then. The mission is easy. I have to get this video bug on Masters and off him after his meeting with the...”

“Ah yeah. I already thought that this meeting was fishy..” Peggy fell into his explanation.

“I can easily pin that bug onto him and take it off later. Give it to me.”

_“Give it to her. She is a special friend of Masters. It’ll be easy for her to do it.”_ Merlin advised him. He passed the bug to Peggy. She let it slip into her tiny red handbag “Shit.”

Eggsy looked startled at her.

“Basil saw us.”

He looked over at Masters who was watching them. A waiter with champagne passed them and Peggy fetched them two glasses.

“Okay. Let’s do it.”

She put her arm around Eggsy’s and started walking slowly in Master direction. She leaned her body over to him and quietly explained her plan.

“My brother Hershel has five sons and a daughter. You’ll take his youngest sons place. He is studying economy in London. His name is Gary”

At that Eggsy had to smile. Then descended the stairs and went over to Masters.

“Basil my dear” Peggy started her game

“You remember Gary? He is Hershel’s youngest son. You know the one studying Economy here in London.”

Masters face turned to a slightly annoyed glare.

“Ah, Gary nice to see you again. How is your father?” they shook hands.

“Thank you Mister Masters. He is quite well.”

“It’s so nice to see you Gary you should visit your Auntie more often.” She started to chit chat and put away her glass. She got out a tissue from her tiny handbag. And then she went over to Masters straightened his collar put on the bug and said “the dinner will be served soon lets go to our table. Maybe Gary could join us?”

“Yes of course darling” Masters seemed bored and went to his table.

_”Ok Eggsy the system is online. Now we have to wait”_ Eggsy nodded to Peggy. Hastily a waiter added a set for Eggsy aka Gary, Peggy’s nephew. From then on Eggsy just had to wait and engaged in light conversation with his “aunt” Peggy.

Right after Dinner Masters excused himself. He went off to meet with the warlords. Peggy looked over to Eggsy and got up and walked into the direction of the balconies. After emptying his glass of champagne he followed her. She was standing outside a grey silvery fox fur jacket wrapped around her middle hanging from one shoulder. She was smoking a cigarette which was in a cigarette holder.

“So Gary, I’ll call you Gary as I don’t know your name. Do you smoke?” she offered him the package.

He took one and Peggy passed him the lighter. He leaned against the railing and took the first of the smoke into his lungs.

“ ‘been a long time since I had my last smoke.” He fell a bit into his old accent.

Peggy raised her left eyebrow.

“Silvery fox fur I assume?” Eggsy was back on Kingsman manners.

“I don’t like wearing real fur. But it’s a present from Basil. And when Basil wants me to wear it then the Mi6 wants me to wear it.”

She looked a bit sad and joined Eggsy at the railing. They stood there and smoked in silence for a while.

_“Eggsy, quickly. Someone just tried to kill Masters. Your new mission. Go to Masters and keep him save. Bring him home. Peggy can’t break her cover. Mi6 insists on her to help but not show her identity to Masters.”_

Eggsy threw away the cigarette looked at Peggy and said

“We have work to do.”

He quickly explained and Peggy made her way to the main entrance to ready their car. Eggsy ran upstairs into the direction of the room where Masters had been.

_“Eggsy he is in the second room on the right but he is under fire.”_

Eggsy heard the gun shots even though they were muted by a silencer. He ran into the room. Masters and his secretary were hiding behind the couch and a black man was shooting at them. As Eggsy entered the man started shooting at him. He quickly pulled out his gun and shot the man straight into his forehead.

“Quickly Minster this way. We have to get you to safety as quickly as we can.” “Garry?? What...”

“Please Minister the Mi6 wants you to be save” Eggsy had to play this card.

He got hold of the man’s shoulder and pulled him after him. On the hallway they were ambushed by another assassin. But Masters was still in shock and didn’t turn around in time. The shot fired hit Eggsy in his right shoulder. As his suit was bulletproof he just felt the impact.

“Damn” escaped his lips.

His most precious suit was damaged. Quickly he shot the second man too.

“This way.” He pulled the man behind him and the secretary was at their heels.

“I need the car at the back. Organize it” He angry said to Merlin.

_“I’m at it.”_

There still was one after them. There was the backdoor. It was locked so he shot it. Finally he opened it and shoved Masters outside.

“Quick. Get into the car.” He ordered Masters. “It will bring you home. Your own security will take over from here. And don’t leave them at home the next time you go out. You have to be save in times like these!”

He opened the car door for Masters and Peggy was waiting inside

“Basil. What’s happening here? Is something wrong?”

She asked with a high pitched voice.

“Good Night Minister. Mrs. Carter.”

He looked at her and she winked back. He closed the door and the car speeded away.

_“Good Job Eggsy. Well could’ve been better but Masters is alive. Peggy’s cover is still up and we got the intel. Check in and then you can go home.”_

Eggsy nodded, walked around the building as police arrived and stormed the building. He wanted to catch a cab to make his report and finally get home. He looked at his shoulder and put his left forefinger into the tiny hole the bullet had left.

“Fuck.”

He walked along the walkway and kicked a can lying around. This suit was the only thing Harry had left him. Well of course there was the house he lived in now. But it was something else with the suit. He came by a small shop and bought a pack of cigarettes.

He started walking, he was feeling like it. Masters could have been killed easily and he had been standing around talking to Peggy like some dumb fool. He had to focus the way he had acted today wasn’t the kind of Kingsman he wanted to be.

Not the kind Harry would have wanted him to be. He saw big green neon lights saying pub. He went inside and ordered a scotch. While he waited for his drink he lit a cigarette and took the opportunity to look at the bar and the customers. A few older men who seemed to be regular guests, a woman with a Dean –like guy and some of his goons. He was really angry at himself about ruining the suit. He left heavily drunk. A cab brought him home.

Roxy entered the house and found him sprawled on the sofa.

“Eggsy! You were supposed to go to Merlin and then home.”

He mumbled something. She shook her head and hoisted him up the stairs.

“You so gonna pay for this.”

He answered something but Roxy couldn’t make sense of it.

“Doctor Smith said you are allowed a drink from time to time with us but not the whole fucking bottle!”

Finally in bed she stripped him from his favourite suit. He would be really upset in the morning if it would be damaged even more. She contacted Merlin to tell him about Eggsy drinking. She heard that he was angry and sad because now she had to stay with Eggsy. She had the feeling he had prepared something because he had asked her to come over for dinner when the Masters Mission was over. Now she changed into her pajamas and slipped into the covers next to Eggsy.

 

 

 

**Meanwhile at the HQ**

 

Merlin was sitting in the tech department. Well that was it with the romantic dinner he had planned with Roxy. He finally had wanted to make a move and ask Roxy about her feelings. The ordered food waited in the kitchen of the manor. He got himself some of the fine food and told the servant girl to help herself to the rest. He ate his meal alone at his desk. He sighed.

Why could he manage a spy agency but not his personal life?

Since the Valentine incident he came near Roxy a bit but not as much as he had wanted. They even slept next to each other in one bed regularly. Sometimes they even cuddled a bit but she never made any other move on him and he was too much of a gentleman to use such a moment. But even when he tried it the right way there was always something and lately it was Eggsy, drunk and in tears that made Merlin’s game over.

Merlin touched his glasses.

“Secure line to Canada. Genetics Department. “.

_“Please verify your access”_ a computer voice answered

“Merlin” he said.

After a few moments

_“Access verified. Who do you want to speak with?”_

“Room 1. Harry Hart, please.”

A small clicking voice and a second later the receiver was picked up.

_“Merlin? Is anything wrong? It must be around 2 o’clock in London.”_

“Yes, it is 2 o’clock, thanks for mentioning it. You wanted an update on Masters. He nearly got killed today. Thankfully Peggy Carter is still set on him. She dealt with most of the assassins. But the Boy is not himself since your special little meeting with Valentine. He needs help. If this goes on any longer I think I lose him as a Kingsman.“

Together with Hancock and the doctors in Canada they had decided that Harrys recovery could be influenced by emotional information as his brain still had some healing to do. Merlin couldn’t tell Harry why and how broken Eggsy really was.

And in the end they should talk to each other about their feelings and not be told by others.

Harry sighed

_”Yes maybe you are right. The doctors want to release me sometime soon so maybe we can tell. And I think it’s your hair that you have to worry about losing not Eggsy”_

“Thank you too Harry. No I mean it. I want to bring him tomorrow. Will that be alright for you?”

_“Tomorrow? Yes I’ll inform Hancock. Good night Merlin”_

“See you tomorrow, Harry.”


	5. Meeting him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin phoned Harry...will there finally be the long awaited meeting?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well to say I'm sorry for the long break wouldnt do... But I wrote a lot and I will post a lot of chapters in the following weeks- so stay tuned :D

At half past 8 Roxy and a hung over Eggsy arrived at HQ. As they came out of the shuttle Merlin already waited for them.

“Morning. Eggsy. Doctor Smith, right now! Roxy we will be going right after his appointment. I need you to help me pack some things.”

Eggsy just nodded and went to see the doctor. Of course he had to talk to his psychologist after having a drink...or two and the fact that the minister nearly was shot.

But it was alright because Doctor Smith had caught up on Eggsy’s thinking quite quickly and she understood which buttons to press to get him back on track. But he wondered what kind of mission Merlin was sending them on. If he came with them it had to be an important one. It must be something special. Merlin always had punished him with some days of hard training and staying inside when he had misbehaved.

 

 

 

They boarded the Kingsman jet and when the plane was in the right altitude the autopilot was switched on. Merlin came into the cabin and opened the screens.

“We have to go through the intel we got from Masters meeting yesterday.” He sat at the screens and turned so he could easily look at them and the screens.

“This man…” He showed a picture of him on the screens. “…is Will Yun Lee. He is from North Korea.“ Eggsy looked at the picture. There wasn’t anything Asian in this man’s face. And he stared in disbelieve at Merlin.

“He got surgery. He is a big player in finances and software programming. His right hand man- Hugh Stamp. “ Merlin pointed at a picture of a blond man with blue eyes. “He is American.  During the meeting and before the warlord Idi Amin decided to kill Masters, Lee had wanted to make a deal. He said, that he had found a way to obtain total control over every person and government in the world.” 

“Another Valentine? How does he want to do it?” Roxy asked.

“Well we don’t know yet. But there is a software programmer in New York the mission is to get him to a safehouse and make him talk. We will meet him in eight days at the Plaza hotel”

“Why not get him now?” Eggsy asked. Where were they going when not to New York to question this nerd?

“He is still working on the project for Lee and he made it clear that he will be killed if he won’t finish it.”

“Alright. Where are we going to now?” Roxy asked and shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“Canada. Vancouver to be precise.”

“And what is in Vancouver?” She leaned forward because this whole mission was getting highly suspicious and Eggsy didn’t like this one bit.

“A special branch of Kingsman. You’ll see. Maybe you two should eat something and get some extra sleep. I have the feeling you won’t get much of that when we arrive.” With that he left to check on the plane.

“Gosh I hate it when he hides something from us” Roxy said and got up. “But breakfast sounds nice.”

They ate some croissants and marmalade and watched a stupid comedy movie during which Eggsy fell asleep.

 

 

After nine and a half hours of flight they arrived in Vancouver. They had landed on a small private airport, where a driver with a big black SUV was already waiting for them. They drove for about half an hour through the majestic countryside of Canada. Followed by a dimly lit tunnel that ended in an underground carpark.

“Where the heck are we?” Eggsy asked Roxy, looking terribly confused and disturbed. She just shrugged and went after Merlin.  He halted in front of a door in a hallway that looked like a normal office. Behind the door was an average meeting room.

“Who are we going to meet now?” Eggsy said to no one in particular but very annoyed.

“Please sit down. I’ll be back in a sec.” Merlin left them alone. Roxy went behind the big wooden table and sat with her view right on the door so she could see the outside. Eggsy sat opposite of her. Right now he couldn’t care less who they were going to meet. His neck was hurting from the nap on the plane and his head still felt hung over.

He heard footsteps echoing down the corridor but still he wasn’t interested in meeting anybody. A nice bath and a kingsized bed was more to his taste. Maybe a massage. He had to check if there was a Hotel with service like that. He took his smartphone and started a search on google.

Right then Roxy shrieked and put her hands over her mouth.

“No that..No..no” she stammered through her fingers.

Slowly Eggsy turned to the door and as he finally saw who was standing there. His smartphone slipped out of his fingers, falling to the ground and when it hit the dark floor, the screen cracked into thousand small shards.

“A hello would have been enough. You didn’t had to break you phone.” Harry answered and picked up the broken smartphone. He put it on the table and sat next to Eggsy, watching the younger man with calm eyes.

Eggsy was frozen.

What?

How?

Was this some crazy stupid dream that wanted to torture him?

“How?” he managed, struggling with panicking.

 

 

Merlin started to explain.

Harry had gotten a metal plate inserted over his right eye after a bomb splinter had hit him there on a mission about a decade ago. It had absorbed most of the bullet impact and stopped the bullet itself, saving his life in the process. The rest of the injury was treated with a new medicine that made the body heal ten times faster. But still he had been in a coma and they hadn’t even known when or if Harry would ever wake up again.

“You knew this from the beginning?” This time Roxy was the one who spoke, breaking the strained silence after Merlin’s report.

“How could you hold that back.” Her eyes went from Merlin to Eggsy and back.

“I don’t wanted to make it worse. And when Harry woke his brain still had to recover.”

“I couldn’t speak very well and couldn’t get up”. Eggsy put a cigarette between his lips and lit it. Everyone watched him stunned as he smoked quietly. Merlin and Roxy didn’t do anything to stop him and he was thankful for that.

“Since when do you smoke?” Harry asked.

“Since you died.” He answered. This was so surreal. Couldn’t be true.

“Harry will take over the Arthur position. And as to why we came here today. Well to get our new Arthur save home and to talk about the New York mission with the US branch.” 

“Will we work together with them?” Roxy asked and Merlin explained some details about the mission but Eggsy didn’t listen properly.

Eggsy looked to his left at Harry. Nah couldn’t be true.  Just a fucking nightmare. A hallucination. Putting Harry back in front of him, only to rip him out of his arms the moment he wouldn’t think about losing him. That must be it.

While Roxy and Merlin talked on and on, Harry touched Eggsy’s hand, just where it laid on the table.

The strange but soft touch was something Eggsy had longed for. Still it startled him to feel Harry’s fingers against the back of his hand. This was no dream.  This touch felt way better than any of his dreams.

This was real.

Harry was alive.

And no one had told him. Not Merlin and not Harry. He could have called as soon as he could speak again. Or written a message. Or anything.

But why should he?

Maybe Eggsy had only imagined their special link?  Who was he for Harry? Just the former protégé and son of the man that had died for him? A colleague? There was nothing between them like the feelings Eggsy had felt after Harry had been shot. And Merlin had known.

With hate in his eyes Eggsy looked to Merlin.

He abruptly pulled his hand away from under Harrys and shoved it into the pocket of his trousers. Harry looked worried and wanted to say something when Eggsy said

“I have to go to the toilet.” He left the room. Roxy and Merlin became silent for a moment but continued to talk soon.

Eventually, Roxy looked at her watch.

“Ten minutes. I’m going to check on him.” She got up and searched for the restroom. She found one down the corridor from where they came but it was totally empty. She tapped her glasses and said: 

“Eggsy? Where are you. I’m worried.”

 _“Had to go. Can’t stand being here. How could they?”_ He screamed the last words and Roxy’s ears were ringing

“I’m sorry Eggsy. I swear on everything that’s dear to me I did not know anything about this.” She sat down on one of the closed toilet seats.

_“I know. Wouldn’t talk to you if you had known.”_

“Please Eggsy where are you? Come back.” She pleaded with him.

_“I have to be alone.”_

“Eggsy. Last time you said that you nearly killed yourself!” Roxy’s voice pitched higher and echoed shrill in the tiled bathroom.

_“Gonna drive to New York. We meet there. And tell Merlin to fuck off.”_

“Yeah sure. But please Eggsy let me come with you.”

_“No Rox.  Dunno what to feel and I don’t want to hurt you. Please stay away.”_

“Leave your tracker on? For me? Okay? I promise I will shoot Merlin if he sends someone after you, alright? But please turn it on? Just so I know that you are moving and you’re alright?”

 _“Yeah,  for you. And I will kill every agent that comes near me. I promise. So no funny business. Bye Roxy.”_ She heard the small clicking noise in her ear.

“Promise to stay save. You are my best friend I don’t want to loose you.” She said but only the empty bathroom heard her words.

She went down the corridor to the next office she could find and that wasn’t locked. She logged in into Kingsman system on one of the PC’s and checked the footage of the gates. Merlin had trained her in hacking and software programming so she had no problem to search the system.

Ten minutes had passed since one of the big black SUVs had left the tunnel. She just knew that it was Eggsy. She went back to Harry and Merlin.

“Congratulations you two idiots. He’s gone.”


	6. New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy is in a really bad shape after meeting Harry. He has to cope with a lot of feelings and he meets someone to help him...

Harry thought he was in a bad dream. Since when did Lancelot speak to Merlin and him like that? And wait what? Eggsy was gone?

“We have to track him.” Merlin flipped open the cover of his iPad.

“You will do no such thing.” Roxy quickly put her hand on the cover to close it. She was seriously angry now. “You have done enough damage. He will meet us in NY in eight days. He said to tell you to fuck off and that he will be ready for the mission.”

“Still we have to get him… He already would have killed himself once before. You should remember it best Roxy.” The woman hissed and glared at Merlin

“What? Why did he want to kill himself?” Harry stood up and stared at the two of them, his hands clenched on the table and his face contorted into worry lines.

“Well coping with your death wasn’t an easy thing for him. And now when he is nearly stable and normal again you drop the bomb. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m happy that you are alive Arthur. But you two should have thought better about how to behave in such a circumstance.” Roxy was really furious now. She gave both men a long hard look of disgust and anger.

 

Merlin tracked Eggsy from his iPad, while Roxy stared at Harry from her place in the corner.

“We still can get him.”

“And to what purpose? What do you want to do with him? Chain him to a bed and pump him full of drugs to calm him? He hast to find a way to cope with this. “ With this Roxy snagged the cigarettes that Eggsy had left and lit one of them. She exhaled the grey smoke slowly, still clearly pissed.

“Merlin I think you will have to tell me what all this is about on our flight back.” Roxy raised her left eyebrow.

“We are still flying?” She asked.

“Well yes, in about 2 hours.”

 

 

Merlin looked like a stray dog that had been outside in the rain for far too long. Roxy couldn’t be angry with him when he put on his puppy eyes but he had endangered the life of her best friend.

She couldn’t forgive him just like that. She opened the little fridge in the corner and pulled out several of the small alcohol bottles and put them on the table. She sat down in front of them and while still smoking the cigarette she opened a bottle and drowned it without even blinking. And another followed.

“To you Harry. It’s really good to see you alive. But you two should have handled that matter better. I know you can do better. For havens sake you two are Kingsman.” Harry and Merlin stared at her in disbelieve as she drank the fifth little bottle.

“The world seems to have gone completely crazy” Harry mused and downed his own drink.

 

 

On the plane Harry tried to get out of Merlin why Eggsy had wanted to kill himself. The real reason. But Merlin did everything to avoid this conversation.

It had been seven very long hours since he had seen Eggsy. He was worried. What was it with this boy? Couldn’t he stay out of trouble for once?

It seemed that it wasn’t enough of a problem that Harry had a special liking for Eggsy. Of course he knew that that was something that would never be true. He was much older and he didn’t even knew if Eggsy was into men at all, let alone older men. Harry just had made up that stuff in his head and now it was time to focus on being Arthur.

He started with checking on Eggsy. The young man was on a small street leading to the highway. From Vancouver to New York would be around forty-four hours of driving.

Harry watched the small dot representing Eggsy for half an hour

 

Eggsy had turned on the navigation system in his glasses. It was a long drive. But he would use it so sort this shit out. And he always could take a plane. But for now he was driving. He thought a lot about Harry and if he had imagined all of the feelings between them.

 

Harry was worried about Eggsy but he couldn’t just write him a text it just didn’t feel right. So he hacked into Roxys Kingsman account and wrote “Please be careful. I’m worried. Write me.”

 

The message flickered on Eggsys glasses and he shook his head. Roxy really was the best friend he ever  had. He drove for two more hours and stopped in a diner. Driving was exhausting.

He decided to take the next plane. At least he could get drunk on a plane. He took his phone and wrote to Roxy “Going to take a plane. And I’m fine or you know. See ya in NY.”

 

Harry heard the phone on the table in front of him vibrating. Roxy was on the toilet right now so he quickly took the phone and read the message on the locked screen. He was relieved Eggsy wouldn’t drive the whole way. With a little smile on his face he put back the phone just in time before Roxy came back. She read the message and smiled too but then she glared at him and Merlin. Harry really should have dealt differently with this matter.

 

Eggsy arrived at JFK international a few hours later and Hancock personally went to pick him up. She wanted to see the boy that had won over Harrys heart.

Harry didn’t want her to know about his affections. She herself wasn’t even sure if Harry was aware of it himself. But she had often visited him and after some time he started to talk a lot about the boy.

 

Eggsy had wondered what it was with that woman. She looked like a Scandinavian supermodel. Just older. Super blond hair, white skin and long legs in  black trousers and a black turtleneck.

He had spotted her the minute he had left the security area. He had no weapons. He checked the doors. But he saw nothing to worry. He observed the woman with caution. Without hesitation she started to walk towards him. Ten steps. One more step and he would run.

“Galahad.” She greeted him.

“And you are?” Eggsy asked and glared at her from under his glasses.

“Hancock. Head of the US branch. Nice to meet you.” Eggsy was stunned. The head of Kingsman US came to get him?

”Did Merlin send you?” He asked, suddenly annoyed.

“Oh no. I got the information that you would be here and Merlin requested only to bring you some things and to give you the keys to your hotel room.”

She showed the suitcase she was carrying and gave it to Eggsy.

“But I wanted to meet you myself. Harry talked an awful lot about you.”

“Why would he talk ‘bout me?” She raised her eyebrows and then smiled.

“Well you are interesting with your background… “ She had thought the boy knew about Harrys feelings. Damn, there goes her faux pas.  

“Let me bring you to your hotel and we can have a little talk while we have a nice dinner. This way please.” She lead the way and Eggsy followed.

 

They had a black SUV and a driver. Inside the car Eggsy looked through the things Hancock had brought for him. Some Money, the kingsman handgun, a folder with the mission information and some of the Kingsman gadgets like the hand grenade.

Eggsy first had thought the woman would annoy him. But as they talked over dinner about everything else then Harry he felt much better.

After dinner he left for his room. Now alone all the impressions of the day came back to him.

Harry was back.

 

He filled the luxurious bathtub and had a good long soak. He really had no idea what to make out of the situation. He listed the facts he knew.

He was a Kingsman. Harry was back and would now be Arthur. He was alone in New York. And he was madly in love with Harry.

But he didn’t even know what Harry thought about it.

He got out of the bathtub and ordered some wine and snacks from room service.

He tipped the young man generously. The food was good but he needed something more.

He picked up the phone and called the concierge.

Twenty minutes later he heard a knock on the door and the concierge gave him a small black book. He payed him and again gave him some extra.

Finally he could write in a diary again. Doctor Smith had told him to write down what he thought or what he had problems with. And he really had the feeling it helped to see his thoughts on paper.

So he started to write about Harry coming back and that he had no idea if the wonderful and so good looking Harry even thought about him.

 

 

He woke as someone knocked on his door. He jumped up and opened the door with only his boxer shorts on and gun in hand hidden behind the door.

The concierge with several bags from expensive clothing brands was there.

“Good morning. There is a reservation for breakfast in your room in half an hour and these clothes were just delivered for you. It seems you need them”

he said, winked at him and gave him the bags.

“But who?” Eggsy was too surprised to think straight.

“A Mrs. Hancock. And as the breakfast is for two I think she wants to eat with you” again the concierge winked at him.

What was it with this guy?

“Ah. Yeah. Thanks. When will breakfast be?”

“Thirty minutes Sir.”

“Thanks”.

He quickly showered and looked through the clothes. Mostly casual clothes but it seemed that Hancock really had thought about everything. And everything fitted perfectly.

Where had she got his measures?

 

She arrived and they had a big breakfast with French croissants, bread rolls with fine ham and even avocados with caviar.

Hancock told him that she wanted to get to know him a bit more and show him around New York.

The Kingsman normally didn’t have time to stay in other places for long and have sight seeing tours so Eggsy was eager to see New York. He had never been anywhere else then around London. They never had money for holidays.  

But for real Hancock had got a call from Harry and he had asked her to look after him.

After breakfast she took him back to HQ and showed him around. It was more of an office building then the UK branch. Outside New York city they also had a manor but unlike in the UK branch most of the work was done in the city office.

They went to the empire state building and had a small lunch and spent the rest of the day strolling along 5th avenue.

As they passed tiffany & co Eggsy just had to go inside.

Hancock had giggled and put her arm around his and dragged him in. They spent the evening in central park, Hancock had organized a picnic. It was a wonderful day. Hancock invited him to come to HQ the next day. She had put aside all Kingsman business just for him. 

For the next days Eggsy went shopping, sightseeing and visited Hancock at HQ. On the last day before the mission he went back to Tiffanys.

He had seen a very fine pocket watch and had bought it on the second day. He had ordered it to have an engraving.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment or leave a kudo :)  
> Or stalk me on tumblr!  
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